Your beer comes with a knit cap on its head.
I had to read that one to my wife. She rolled her eyes as if to say, “Not another one of you!”
Then she read a Facebook post warning others not to accept a “Friend Request” from Hormel Foods… It may be “Spam”. Cute!
You stop hearing “doo doo doo doo doo, baby shark” in your head.
I had stopped… until I read your post! Thanks, Kate!
Square tires…the snow crunches as you walk…when you throw boiled water into the air it freezes before it lands…your eyelashes cover in frost when you are walking outside…your car doesn’t want to start…you want to hibernate…
And when you park your car and the birds land on the hood to keep warm. (Happened when I returned from the Post Office - wasted trip, no mail today. Birds landed on the hood and sat there. A few more fly under the vehicle and sat below the engine and muffler. Smart little buggers!) During our white out, there was about 24 juncos walking around my porch. Little footprints all over the place.
…When you want to go to sleep, so you go to “p” and find your toilet inlet pipe has frozen… The sink and tub are still dripping, but the darn toilet just had to be contrary!
At 6pm, I found the upstairs BR was leaking again. Called J2 to get J1 to call upstairs … They don’t come home for 4 hours! Their BR sink pipe burst. Oh joy… Tomorrow. Deal with the toilet tomorrow. Go out on the coooooold enclosed porch and get the heater to put in front of the toilet (after I “p”) then stay in next room while it gets hot in there. God my BR is soooo cold.
Like an outhouse? Darn! I was eating chips with bacon & horse radish dip and I forgot to wipe off my fingers before I started typing this reply. Now my keys are all nice and shiny! Now to get my cleaning cloth for the keys.
…or come visit Shaul. We have 9-10 degrees Celsius as lowest during the night, and up to 15-18 degrees during the day.
It hasn’t been lower than +4 degrees the whole “winter” by us, and I love it!
Edit: @cageycat, this joke reminded me of your plight.
New England Home
My husband and I purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house’s lack of insulation. “If they could live here all those years, so can we!” my husband confidently declared. One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up. “For the past 30 years,” he muttered, “they’ve gone to Florida for the winter.”
I just had to add these “It was so cold…” jokes (from the same website above). I had gone to this site some time ago and some of them gave me a good chuckle, snicker or laugh.
It Was So Cold that
We had to stop eating with metal cutlery.
Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
Hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
Roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
When I dialed 911, a recorded message said to phone back in the spring!
The optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses!
Kids were using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
Richard Simmons started wearing pants!
A streaker froze in mid-streak! The town council just stuck a plaque on him and pretended he was a Greek statue until spring.
UN weapons inspectors suddenly decided that chemical weapons might be hidden in Hawaii!
Pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm!
The squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at an electric fence!
I chipped a tooth on my soup!
My Dad was wearing golfing gloves on both hands!
The dogs were wearing cats!
Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick!
People with traffic tickets would plead guilty and beg for the electric chair!
Terrorists started to stockpile weapons-grade hot chocolate!
Levi Strauss started manufacturing electric jeans!
The rats were bribing the alley cats for a snuggle.
We had to chop up the piano for firewood - but we only got two chords.
We had to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our parkas!
When we milked the cows, we got ice cream! When we milked the brown cows - we got chocolate ice cream!
Words froze in the air. If you wanted to hear what someone said, you had to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire!
The dogs had to put jumper cables on the rabbits - just to get them running!
Playboy magazine stopped publishing because no women would take their clothes off.
We pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up!
The Husky Association was making emergency service calls to get the dog teams started!
When we parked the sled, we either had to plug in the dogs - or keep them running in place!
Naaaa aaaa! Dogs drool.
And I’m cold.
I was just outside about 15 minutes ago. 1F/-17C, the air was moving, but not enough to call it a breeze. It’s actually not bad outside without that wind blowing like it did earlier. No one was driving, no one outside doing anything (except me), and it was so noisy! Every few seconds I could hear all these loud “pops” from neighbors’ houses contracting. Mine also!
And you know it’s cold when all the deer huddle around the base of your chimney to keep warm. (Had to throw that in there!) The deer haven’t shown up yet. Last night they didn’t come around until some time between 4 and 7 AM.
You know it’s cold when Jim only eats one bowl of ice cream after coming in from outside.
Now here’s a good one.
We all know if you wash a pair of socks, one gets lost.
Sooooo, I had socks on, in bed, rubbing my feet together to get them warmed. Suddenly I realized my right sock was off. Got up, tore up the blankets and flat sheet.,… no sock. Looked around the bed… no sock. What??? My right foot is confused…and cold. My left foot might be smirking.
I can’t wait for this weekend!!! Come on 50F !
It was so cold that Cagey’s left sock put on her right sock to keep warm.
You know it’s cold when you plug a heating pad into an outdoor extension cord so the critters outside can warm their feet while they eat…
Maybe I should do that for my wife… put a heating pad on her porch chair and plug it in. When she’s not sitting in it, I’m sure the squirrels or the birds would!
Found it ! No idea how, but my missing sock had climbed in between layers of blankets. HOW ?
Amazing weather! That is June weather for us.
We will have a warming trend around mid April.
Although we can still get a couple of snow storms at that time. By mid May we are done with snow and onto rain and the plants are starting to poke through the ground.
Maybe you should have asked “why?” Probably to keep warm.