I hate to admit it, but I have had days like that… just a couple, mind you. The difference is at the end of the day my wife asks me why nothing got done. I never know how to answer her.
(Edit: This is a very long read… but will make you chuckle.)
I decided that I need to make a list of things to do.
While getting my notepad and pen I come across a few things I wanted to give my granddaughters for their arts and crafts so I go back downstairs to get a small paper sack.
On the shelf on the wall of the landing halfway down to the basement I see the can of electrical contact cleaner I used but didn’t put away. Realizing I better put it back in the box with my soldering iron and other tools, I pick up the can and go back up to the 2nd floor to put it in the box in my home office.
When I walk into the room I realize I forgot the bag for my granddaughters’ A&C supplies, so I set the can of contact cleaner on the computer desk and head back downstairs.
On the way downstairs my wife asks me for a screwdriver so she can hang a heavy picture in the parlor. Of course the type of screwdriver she needs isn’t in the “junk drawer” in the kitchen, it’s down in my workshop. So I grab the keys and head down there.
On the way to the workshop I realize I hadn’t fed the birds yet so I retrieve the canvas sack with all the bird “supplies.” After refilling the hanging bird feeders and tossing some seed on the ground, I realize the suet cage is empty. I have to get another suet cake from my workshop. I quickly duck in there, grab a suet cake from the box and head back out.
After refilling the suet cage I see the sack of bird seed containers (there’s 3 in the sack) and realize two of the containers have to be refilled as they’re nearly empty. I decide to leave the sack on the porch steps until I come back out to work in my workshop. I walk back inside… empty handed.
My wife - still in the parlor waiting for the screwdriver - asks me why it’s taking so long just to get a screwdriver. I say, “Oh yeah, that’s what I forgot to get.” I head back down to my workshop, grabbing the sack of bird seed containers on the way.
Inside my workshop, I get out the screwdriver and set it on a small table near the door. I decide I’ll refill the bird seed containers and bring them back up with me… no sense in making an extra trip.
While refilling the last container I spill some seed and it goes all over. I better clean that up immediately because I don’t want to draw any mice into my workshop! I get out my shop vac and begin the cleanup.
When I finish the cleanup, I grab the bird seed sack to bring it back up into the house. My wife again asks about the screwdriver. Oops! I set the bird seed next to the trash bin and head back inside my workshop.
By the time I get to my workshop I forgot I had already got the proper screwdriver out and begin looking through the toolbox drawer containing all my screwdrivers. I can’t find the one I need! I start going through all the zippered bags that my portable power tools come in and realize some of the batteries need recharging. I get them all set up on my workbench and start them charging. I head back up to the house.
As I walk in the door my wife is waiting for me (and the screw driver). Realizing I forgot about the screwdriver I head back out to my workshop. By this time I’m starting to get frustrated because I can’t seem to remember where that screwdriver is! Just as I’m about to give up, my wife walks in the door, sees the screwdriver on the small table where I left it, picks it up (while giving me a dirty look) and heads up to the house.
Relieved that “that chore is done,” I head back to the house, locking the door to the workshop behind me.
By the time I get inside, I realize I forgot to bring the sack of bird seed up with me. I turn around and head back down. Once down there I find I locked the door - with my keys inside. Back to the house to get my wife’s keys. (I forgot the bird seed it actually sitting on the ground next to the trash bin.)
My wife informs me her keys are in her shoulder bag. (I can never understand why these humongous things are called “pocket books.”) Oh no! That thing is a bottomless pit! I search for 5 minutes and no keys. I pick up the back and start searching for my wife. (She’s in the basement starting a load of laundry.) I look all downstairs and then upstairs for her. Just as I start down to the basement my wife is on her way up the stairs. I hand her her bag and tell her I can’t find the keys. She reaches inside, pulls out the keys and hands them to me. As I’m on my way out she asks me to take the trash down to the bin. I set the keys on the kitchen table, take the trash bag out of the trash pail and carry that down. After closing the bin I realize I left the keys on the table. I head back up. (Mind you that the set of steps from the side of the porch to the side of the house are 11 steps.)
After retrieving my wife’s keys I head back down to my workshop. Upon entering I see one of the batteries I had on the charger is done. So I take the battery off the charger and my wife walks in to see what I’m doing. Without saying a word she turns and walks back out. I set the battery on my workbench and start looking for the screwdriver again… figuring she’s starting to get agitated waiting for it. Ten minutes later I’m getting frustrated about not finding my screwdriver. Finally, I give up and head up to the house to see if there’s some other way to hang this picture she wants so bad to hang. I head back upstairs.
As I walk in the door my wife meets me, hands me my screwdriver and say’s, “All done!” So I turn around and head back down to return the screwdriver where it belongs - in my tool box. After putting it away I head back up to the house. Just as I walk in the door I realize I still left my own keys in my workshop… which I just locked back up! Back down I go…
After retrieving my keys I return to the house with both sets, hand my wife her set and hang mine on the key rack. My wife mentions how few birds there have been with me going back and forth. The bird seed! I left the sack of containers next to the trash bin. Back down I go…
As I pick up the bird seed I notice through the window that another battery is charged as the light on the charger changed from red to green. No keys… I set the seed back down and run back up to the house for the keys!
Just as I get my keys my wife asks me for some sandpaper because a cabinet drawer is sticking a little. I check out the drawer in question and tell her I’ll get the sandpaper. Back down to my workshop. Quick as a wink I retrieve the sandpaper and head back up. My wife tells me she’ll sand it and takes the sandpaper from me and starts to work. I don’t know how, but she manages to rip the sheet first off. Back to my workshop… My legs are getting awfully tired by now.
While getting another sheet of sandpaper out, I remembered about the battery. I take I take it off the charger and decide I’ll put it back in the tool sack later. I pick up the sandpaper and head back in. After handing it to my wife I sit down to rest my legs. She asks, “Don’t you have anything to do other than to just sit there?” That’s when I remembered I was going to make a list of things to do!
I head up to my office to get the notepad and see the items I had out for the girls arts & crafts. I pick them up and immediately put them in a small paper bag to bring up to them later. I head back downstairs and set the bag on the kitchen counter. What’s next to do?
Suddenly I remember the can of electrical contact cleaner. I head down to the basement to get it. Halfway down the stairs I hear my wife asking me to switch the laundry over from the washer to the dryer. I do that and go back upstairs. By now my legs, knees and lower back are really aching!
My wife asks me to run down to the Post Office to get the mail. After leaving the Post Office I decide to pay our granddaughters a visit and shoot right past my house on the way up the hill. The very first thing my oldest granddaughter asks when I get there is, do I have any stuff she can use to make this, that and some other thing. OMG! Their arts & crafts supplies! I left them at my house! I tell her I’ll be right back and run back down to my house. Upon entering the kitchen I look on the counter… the bag is gone! My wife is gone… went to visit one of the neighbors, but which one? So I start looking all over to see if I can find where she put it. Thirty minutes later I give up and run back up to my son’s house to play with the girls. By the time I get there, they’re all getting into the van. Mommy is taking them to the playhouse in Albany. I turn around and head back home… saddened that I miss out playing with them.
By the time I get home I’m so tired I feel like taking a nap. Not going to happen. As soon as I lie down on the couch my wife walks in the door. “Well, isn’t this nice,” she exclaims! “Don’t you have anything to do?” I get up and decide I better start doing something. Down in my workshop it’s nice and quiet. I head down there.
My daughter calls and asks if I would run up to her house to let her dog out. The high school boy that usually does it has something going on after school and can’t do it today. I walk back up the porch stairs, get the car keys and start to head out to the car. My wife asks me if I’ll stop at the store when I finish and pick up a few things for her. I wait while she makes a list… which is getting longer and longer. Finally, she’s completed her list, hands it to me and as I head out I ask her if she knows where that bag of arts & craft supplies went to. She bends down, opens the cupboard door (directly below where I set the bag on the counter), picks up the bag and hand it to me. I bring the bag with me and place it in the back seat of the car.
When I get to my daughter’s house I realize I left my key ring with my daughter’s house key on it at my house. Back home I go. Once I’ve finished with the dog and put her back inside, given her a couple of dog treats, and pet the cats and gave them some treats, I head to the village for the groceries.
Just as I’m about to get in cash out line, I realize I grabbed the wrong jacket. My wallet is in my other jacket! I got to the office and explain that I’m leaving my cart right there and I’ll be right back with my wallet to pay for the groceries. The girl says, “That’s fine.”
After running home to get my wallet - and having to explain myself to my wife - I shoot back up to the store. My cart of groceries is gone! Some employee noticed the cart was sitting there with no one around for some time and decided to put everything back! And my list was in the cart as well! Now I have to run back home to have my wife make a new list!
When I my wife hears what happened, she decides she can’t trust me to get the groceries - and tells me in many ways - and says she’s going to get them herself, but to please switch over the second load of laundry - and fold the clothes from the dryer so they don’t wrinkle. No problem!
As I’m heading down the basement stairs I spot the can of electrical parts cleaner. I better put that away before I forget. I run it up to my office where I have a box with my soldering supplies and put it in with them. Then I realize I had a small pile of junk mail I meant to shred and start doing that. (I didn’t realize there was more than I thought.) My wife gets home with the groceries so I stop shredding and run down to help her carry them in.
Once the groceries are put away, she asks if I want to visit our granddaughters. They’re home now. I agree and off we go - and I forgot to take the arts & craft supplies out of the back seat. When we get home a few hours later I decide to do some tiles on H. Maria and check out the forum.
Around 1 AM I realize:
- There are batteries on the charger that need to be taken off (some of the chargers don’t automatically shut off);
- The bird seed is still sitting on the ground next to the trash bin;
- I have to properly store the shop vac (wind the cord, put the wands and accessories back on their knobs, coil the hose and return the vacuum to it’s resting place);
- The girls’ arts & craft supplies are in the back seat of the car and have to be brought in so the markers don’t freeze; and
- I never did make a list of “things to do.”
After retrieving the A&C supplies from the car, removing the batteries from the chargers, putting the shop vac away, and picking up the bird seed, I’m practically staggering up the stairs to the porch. I set everything on the kitchen floor next to the door and sit outside on the porch to relax for a bit. Just as I’m ready to go back inside, five deer decide to pay my bird feeders a visit. Not wanting to disturb them, I sit there watching… and watching… and watching. Thirty-five minutes go by before they finally move on. I go back inside.
Just as I finish moving the bird seed over to the corner and put the art & craft supplies back on the counter where i originally had them, I sit down in front of my laptop. At that very second, my wife had woke up and walked out to the kitchen with a scowl on her face. “Going to stay up all night on the computer are you?” I can’t win…
And that is just a “typical” day. You wouldn’t want to know how a “bad” day goes.